How Women Are Going to Win An Election - Triumph Over Rape Culture

How Women Are Going To Win An Election - Triumph Over Rape Culture

          I woke again, pinched myself, testing reality. Donald J. Trump is running for President, and he could actually win. Yesterday the Washington Post broke a story, video and audio clips of Trump bragging to Billy Bush, of Access Hollywood. “I did try and f*ck her. I moved on her very heavily....I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn't get there. And she was married....Then all of a sudden I see her. She's got big phony tits and everything. She totally changed her look.” Trump said for all the world to hear. The world is not surprised! He is a known adulterer. His wife, Melania was pregnant with their child when this Trump described “locker room banter” occurred. I wonder how many other business associates, and powerful men over the years, have listened to Trump spewing misogynistic, sexist and racist words over his lunch-time caviar. I wonder how many have told him to shut up! I wonder where they are now, and why they continue to be silent! As is often the case, the oppressed are the ones who must speak out first, insist on change, educate their allies, and fight the long fight.

So here's where the conversation went from disgusting, to criminal. Trump continued, “I've gotta use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I am automatically attracted to beautiful – like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything.”

He doesn't wait - for consent! He kisses women, and grabs between their legs, and women “LET” him! NO we don't LET him, or any other man who uses size, and power over us to get what they want, whenever they want it! This is not just misogynistic, sexist, locker room talk. Trump has admitted and bragged about sexually assaulting women. I am sure that most women are not surprised. We are just horrified to hear him say it! We are not surprised, because it has happened, so many times, to us.

          *trigger alert* I was a twenty year old college student at a dance. Early in the evening a man I had seen around campus, looking at me creepily, approached. I turned away, following my instincts, and my friends. The man grabbed me, grinding me from behind. I could feel his erect penis, pressing up against me. He said, “Let's get out of here.” I said, “No!” and slipped away into the crowd. A bit later, the dance floor got really dark - UB40's Red Red Wine, was a slow song back then. I was making my way through the crowd to get a drink, when I was caught. The hulking man I had said no to before, was back. He pulled me in, pressing himself full body against me, stuck his tongue in my mouth, and grabbed under my skirt, forcing a finger into my vagina. Pain ripped through my pelvis, and breathing became difficult. Somehow, I managed to stamp on his foot, punch him in the testicles, and escape. I ran through the crowd, and out of the student center to my truck, frantically locking the doors. He had not followed me. Thoughts of danger and doubt whirled around in my head, “What if I had gone somewhere alone with him? What did I do to encourage him? Was I safe at school? Who would believe me?” I got home, and took a long hot shower. No amount of steam or soap could clean his smell off my body. I told no one.

Unfortunately, I had a history by that point of being molested by a family friend as a child, being bullied physically and mentally by classmates, and being grabbed and forcibly kissed and roughed up as a teen, several times. Whenever I told what happened, it only made my life harder. I was the one who had to prove I had been abused, and none of my abusers were ever punished. I know I am not alone in my story. I know that many women reading this will have had similar experiences. I know that we are not often believed, even by other women. I know many women will remember and become nauseous when they hear a song that reminds them of the time a man “just kissed”, “grabbed their pussy” without consent, and got away with it.

Red red wine makes you feel so fine.....

         Here is where the story changes. Women will take our power back! We are going to celebrate the first woman president of the United States, even if she was not our first - second -or third choice!

The silence has ended! The “star” has shot his mouth off, and this time - he is the one caught! If you have thought the idea of Rape Culture was just for bra-burning lesbian feminists, this is the time to see the truth. Rape is so ingrained into our culture, we have difficulty believing - even ourselves.

Even if we are believed, our rapists spend little to no time in jail. Women and girls are harassed on the streets. Women are looked at as sex objects for the delight of men. We are criticized and shamed for breastfeeding, for not shaving - everything, for wearing clothes that tempt the uncontrollable maleness, for being too smart, for being too annoying, or nagging. We have all heard Hillary Clinton, easily the most experienced person to seek the presidency in history, be criticized for everything that irritates the traditional view of what a woman “should be.” Our voices, and faces, and bodies are constantly critiqued, even by other women - even if you are Hillary Clinton. Older women are largely ignored. This begins as early as our late forties, because our usefulness as sex objects is fading. Women and girls, are assaulted, and tormented routinely. Women are discriminated against in the workplace, and we have the salaries to prove it. Women and girls, even in this country, are sold, and abused. Women in the military are raped often. College campuses are rampant with sexual abuse. The statistics may be outrageous sounding, but just imagine, that this is the tip of the iceberg. We only know of the ones that are reported! We know we have kept the secrets of our own abuse! We know it is not our fault! We know it time to say NO to the very culture we have been raised in! We know it is time to speak up for all the women and girls who no one believes! We know it is time to insist that men of conscience speak up for us! We know that men who talk of their conquests of assault, also rape! We know it is time to make sure that Trump, or anyone who comes after him, does not get away with assaulting us! We know we are not men's play-things.! We know that every man who was ever born - came from a woman's body! We know what “Trump That Bitch!” actually means, and it's time to tell our neighbors to take down those signs that assault us, and our daughters! Women know we have allowed this criminal to go too far! We know that Rape Culture is the reason. We know, we are the majority, and we have the power - with our votes! We know it is finally time to forgive ourselves - for our silence!